If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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