trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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