Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
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