One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
These tits shall not be calmed
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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