zippers are such a cool invention
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
