somebody snuck up and got me drunk
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
