i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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