well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
