No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
