paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I have aggressive nipples.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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