I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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