he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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