So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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