she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i came on her dog
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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