Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I cannot find my penis.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We are two peas in an std pod
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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