Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
