Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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