If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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