I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
