Nicole vs. Life
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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