This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
