she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
