Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she peed on how many people?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
