I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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