The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
