I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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