So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
