I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
