can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
