she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
