That's intense
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I need moral support for this bender
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
