I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
