I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
