her vagine was all disorganized.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
