I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
