dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
