There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
