new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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