Will you blow on my dice?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
