You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
