He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
