I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
