Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
