This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
i think i just lost a toe
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
