You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
