tell your sister to shave her snatch
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
