I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
