And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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