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The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
