the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
