The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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