I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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