apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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