You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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